I know someone that might sound familiar to you. He (I'll use the male pronoun for simplicity) and I have been wonderful friends for a long time, and I trusted him more than most of my other friends. Recently, he has done things that have hurt not only me, but my closest friends as well. But, after it all, I can't believe he's a bad person. I can't believe that he has done what he did with the intent of hurting or having things his own way. I believe he makes mistakes.
I make mistakes, too. And I'm not a bad person.
Have you ever noticed that animals rarely make mistakes? Or, when they do something we deem stupid, it can be blamed on their lack of intellectual development as a species.
People don't have that kind of pardon. We screw up, and when we do, it is because of us, just how we are. How we were raised. How we think. Our level of badness. This responsibility we have to take the blame for our behavior is a lovely result of our intellectual development.
With this person, all signs point to "absolute jerk." He pretends to be someone he isn't, and when he is called out on it, he acts out. Though the mistakes he makes are worse than others', I can feel that he's not all bad.
It all comes down to this: anyone can double-cross you. I think trust is important, and in order to be happy in life, you need to have the ability to lay your life in the hands of those you care about most, and who care about you. However, even those you care about most can lie to you, hurt you.
Above all else, you must trust yourself. You must trust your instincts about people. The basis of your belief may not be something you can see, but that's alright. You can feel it. And it is only that feeling that you should allow to tell you what to do and where to go in life.
So I am going to continue to believe that this person is good. My gut tells me it's true, and there is nothing I can do about it, no matter what happens or what people tell me.
Never, as long as you live, allow anyone to tell you something that does not fall in line with your instincts. You are the only person you're going to have to be with the rest of your life, and when you can't trust your instincts, who do you have?
A not very timely note
This was a blog I once wrote during my high school and early college years. I keep it around for nostalgic purposes, but it is quite obviously no longer updated. I am looking to make a more professional blog presence in the future, but I still like to look at where I was mentally at certain points in time.
- G. Jan 2013
- G. Jan 2013