A not very timely note

This was a blog I once wrote during my high school and early college years. I keep it around for nostalgic purposes, but it is quite obviously no longer updated. I am looking to make a more professional blog presence in the future, but I still like to look at where I was mentally at certain points in time.

- G. Jan 2013

Monday, May 25, 2009

"Untitled" by Dex

Daddy told me that if I don't cry, I'll get better. But I haven't gotten any better. Why did Daddy lie to me?

Mommy cries. She cries a lot. Even when she tries to smile at me. When Mommy cries, I want to cry.

I cried once. Is that why I haven't gotten any better? Mommy, Daddy, God. Was I bad for crying that time? I wish I hadn't. I'm scared. I want to get better.

I don't want to die. Mommy, Daddy, I'm scared. I'm scared. I don't want to die. I want to stay living. Here, with you. I'm not ready to meet God yet.

I won't cry anymore. Will that make me better? Daddy, will it?

I saw Daddy crying the other day. He didn't know I was awake. I'd never seen Daddy cry before. I pretended to be sleeping. And then I pretended to wake up, and his tears were gone. Maybe I imagined it?

I... I've stopped believing that I'll get better. They all tell me that I will. But I see them, when they think I'm not looking. They cry. They all give each other looks, like they don't believe I'll get better either.

Mommy, Daddy, God... I don't think I can hold it in much longer. It hurts...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry Daddy. I'm sorry Mommy. I'm sorry God.


Repost. Because somehow I accidentally deleted it when trying to edit it. I'm not kidding xD

What did I even say before? This was supposed to be sad, and was inspired by a show I was watching. And sorry for lack of posts.

I think that was it. Haha. Sorry!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What were you watching that influenced you to write this?