Daddy told me that if I don't cry, I'll get better. But I haven't gotten any better. Why did Daddy lie to me?
Mommy cries. She cries a lot. Even when she tries to smile at me. When Mommy cries, I want to cry.
I cried once. Is that why I haven't gotten any better? Mommy, Daddy, God. Was I bad for crying that time? I wish I hadn't. I'm scared. I want to get better.
I don't want to die. Mommy, Daddy, I'm scared. I'm scared. I don't want to die. I want to stay living. Here, with you. I'm not ready to meet God yet.
I won't cry anymore. Will that make me better? Daddy, will it?
I saw Daddy crying the other day. He didn't know I was awake. I'd never seen Daddy cry before. I pretended to be sleeping. And then I pretended to wake up, and his tears were gone. Maybe I imagined it?
I... I've stopped believing that I'll get better. They all tell me that I will. But I see them, when they think I'm not looking. They cry. They all give each other looks, like they don't believe I'll get better either.
Mommy, Daddy, God... I don't think I can hold it in much longer. It hurts...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry Daddy. I'm sorry Mommy. I'm sorry God.
------
Repost. Because somehow I accidentally deleted it when trying to edit it. I'm not kidding xD
What did I even say before? This was supposed to be sad, and was inspired by a show I was watching. And sorry for lack of posts.
I think that was it. Haha. Sorry!
A not very timely note
This was a blog I once wrote during my high school and early college years. I keep it around for nostalgic purposes, but it is quite obviously no longer updated. I am looking to make a more professional blog presence in the future, but I still like to look at where I was mentally at certain points in time.
- G. Jan 2013
- G. Jan 2013
Monday, May 25, 2009
"The Bird" by G.
Don't worry, I'm still alive. I needed a bit of a break to restore the chemical balance in my brains, and feed the Imagination Elephant peanuts. But lo and behold, my fingers are once again criss crossing the keyboard. Anywho, lets get down to business.
You know, sometimes you go through a regular business day, and you accidently step in a puddle, leave your wallet in your other pants and realize you left some important something or another at home. You look at the sky and say "O' great sky, I wish I was a dog". Eh? Hey it's kinda logical. You do nothing all day, get fed, and bask in unconditonal love. Sounds muy bueno. But obvsiouly I'm not going to talk about dogs; the post being called "The Bird" and all. Yeah, lets talk about the birds.
Ever had that dream where your just randomly flying through the sky? Birds have a freedom that I'm quite jealous of sometimes. I think under everything else, that kind of freedom is what everyone works towards, or at the very least would love to have. You just have to wonder; were humans made to live and stay in one place for an extended period? I don't know about you, but the drive to explore and travel burns deeply. I'm sure most of us would love to have a ton of money, or a nice car, or a gold plated garbage truck. I would trade all that in a heartbeat if I could experience the kind of freedom a bird does. To watch the landscape below as you soar through the air, with nothing chaining you to the ground below.
Then again, that's just my idea of what freedom is. Freedom means different things to different people. But in a world where it's hard to find a true and defining purpose, it would be nice to have the freedom to discover it. But we are free... aren't we? Well you tell me. What do you think freedom is? Is there any way to break the "chains" that bind us, if there are any?
You know, sometimes you go through a regular business day, and you accidently step in a puddle, leave your wallet in your other pants and realize you left some important something or another at home. You look at the sky and say "O' great sky, I wish I was a dog". Eh? Hey it's kinda logical. You do nothing all day, get fed, and bask in unconditonal love. Sounds muy bueno. But obvsiouly I'm not going to talk about dogs; the post being called "The Bird" and all. Yeah, lets talk about the birds.
Ever had that dream where your just randomly flying through the sky? Birds have a freedom that I'm quite jealous of sometimes. I think under everything else, that kind of freedom is what everyone works towards, or at the very least would love to have. You just have to wonder; were humans made to live and stay in one place for an extended period? I don't know about you, but the drive to explore and travel burns deeply. I'm sure most of us would love to have a ton of money, or a nice car, or a gold plated garbage truck. I would trade all that in a heartbeat if I could experience the kind of freedom a bird does. To watch the landscape below as you soar through the air, with nothing chaining you to the ground below.
Then again, that's just my idea of what freedom is. Freedom means different things to different people. But in a world where it's hard to find a true and defining purpose, it would be nice to have the freedom to discover it. But we are free... aren't we? Well you tell me. What do you think freedom is? Is there any way to break the "chains" that bind us, if there are any?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Summer Loving
Sorry for being late, guys. You know, I'm pretty busy whatwith the swine flu, school and all the interesting stuff in my life.
Anyways, you're all so lucky, because I just had the inspiration for a poem.
Here you go!
Shadows of the cherry blossom,
Flashing through the light,
Falling upon the earth’s bosom,
Flashing before your eyes as a sprite.
Shadows of the man and woman,
Loving through the night,
Holding each other like lovers can,
Loving as it is only their right.
Such are the days of summer.
Such are the evenings of the lover.
Such is a life whose spoils some levy.
Such is a life which most still only envy.
Days of joy,
Nights of beauty,
To some true, to others only decoy.
Enjoy it while it lasts, don’t be so snooty!
Nights of beauty,
Days of joy,
To some only fun, to others a duty.
Enjoy it while it lasts, don’t be so coy!
Hopefully this will hold you guys off until next time... :P
Anyways, you're all so lucky, because I just had the inspiration for a poem.
Here you go!
Shadows of the cherry blossom,
Flashing through the light,
Falling upon the earth’s bosom,
Flashing before your eyes as a sprite.
Shadows of the man and woman,
Loving through the night,
Holding each other like lovers can,
Loving as it is only their right.
Such are the days of summer.
Such are the evenings of the lover.
Such is a life whose spoils some levy.
Such is a life which most still only envy.
Days of joy,
Nights of beauty,
To some true, to others only decoy.
Enjoy it while it lasts, don’t be so snooty!
Nights of beauty,
Days of joy,
To some only fun, to others a duty.
Enjoy it while it lasts, don’t be so coy!
Hopefully this will hold you guys off until next time... :P
Friday, May 15, 2009
"Break Away" by G.
It takes a powerful mental effort to deviate from that giant mix of ideas and beliefs that we collectively call the "norm". The norm is the safe route, the marked path, the well worn trail. If you stay in the norm, you'll most probably be a normal member of society. Nothing special, and nothing noticeable, but stable. But a dream never really can become reality while staying with the norm. Nothing new happens when the same things are done over and over again. When that choice is made; a choice for learning or doing something new, then you have taken the first step off the beaten path.
It's surprising sometimes to see how much some people enjoy taking down the small glimmer of a person's dream or idea. I wonder if these people have any idea what they've extinguished. That spark of thought could have turned into so many things, only to be shot down by the verbal bullets people fire without thinking. So tell me, why do people try to discourage others? Are they afraid of what that person could do? Are they afraid of what they can't do? Nothing much would exist without someone in history dreaming about it first. If they had took the numerous verbal bullets fired at them to the heart instead of shrugging them off, their ideas would die just as fast as they were conceived. And a final note; what would it take for a person to break away f
rom the norm to make an idea reality? Thoughts are welcome.
It's surprising sometimes to see how much some people enjoy taking down the small glimmer of a person's dream or idea. I wonder if these people have any idea what they've extinguished. That spark of thought could have turned into so many things, only to be shot down by the verbal bullets people fire without thinking. So tell me, why do people try to discourage others? Are they afraid of what that person could do? Are they afraid of what they can't do? Nothing much would exist without someone in history dreaming about it first. If they had took the numerous verbal bullets fired at them to the heart instead of shrugging them off, their ideas would die just as fast as they were conceived. And a final note; what would it take for a person to break away f
rom the norm to make an idea reality? Thoughts are welcome.Monday, May 4, 2009
Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Partly Mine, In Fact.
Ok, guys, I know you love my stories, but there's a heated debate that was going on between me and a very good friend of mine a couple of months ago... And it's a pretty big one, too.
Good VS Evil.
Now, now, I know what you're thinking : But, dude, that's like, so heavy, man! Everyone has his different opinions and stuff, so it's normal to debate about it!
Which is EXACTLY my point.
I read about this in a book a while back, a very good book titled Shantaram. Now, I don't know exactly if the author (Gregory-David Roberts) thought this up or if it was really passed down to him by a mafia leader, but, I find it to be particularily true.
The world has a tendency to complexify itself. Complexifying meaning not only ameliorating, but adding on and on. Therefore, if it is really so, it must be "God's will". And for you guys out there who don't believe in any god, or whose religions oppose this, you may also take it this way : it might not be god's will, but that's how the universe is going, no? That's the way it's always been going and when we did not try to change it, things were ok. The point in all this? If the universe is meant to complexify itself, it means that anything uncomplexifying it has to be bad, or "evil". An example would be murder. Murder takes one's life away, therefore reducing the amount of complexity in the world, therefore, it is evil. Of course, you have to abide by moral ethics and the such, but you get the point. Eating a lot shouldn't be a "religious crime" as the 7 deadly sins indicate (as an example). Therefore, anything considered as destroying or causing destruction would have to be bad and everything that helps or doesn't necessarily hurt means you're keeping on the right track. Of course, there's the dilemma of "killing the killer". If someone is pointing a gun at someone else and you had to either let the victim die or take away the criminal's life, what would you do? Some ponder that "eliminating" the criminal is a bad action, as you shouldn't interfere with another person's life. However, you've just saved some other person's life by eliminating the criminal, which is definitely something good. If you want, you can consider it as neutral : Keeping someone alive while someone else dies, because in any case, one of them ends up dying anyways.
My point in this? Exposing a philosophy that I approve, along with a few tweaks when it comes to details. And, now, if you, our readers, approve or disapprove, I want you to tell me about it.
If you really don't like this take on things, say so. If you like it, state it. Tell us why and why not, tell us how stuff should be in your opinion, maybe we can pool our resources together?
Remember, I always appreciate total honesty.
Good VS Evil.
Now, now, I know what you're thinking : But, dude, that's like, so heavy, man! Everyone has his different opinions and stuff, so it's normal to debate about it!
Which is EXACTLY my point.
I read about this in a book a while back, a very good book titled Shantaram. Now, I don't know exactly if the author (Gregory-David Roberts) thought this up or if it was really passed down to him by a mafia leader, but, I find it to be particularily true.
The world has a tendency to complexify itself. Complexifying meaning not only ameliorating, but adding on and on. Therefore, if it is really so, it must be "God's will". And for you guys out there who don't believe in any god, or whose religions oppose this, you may also take it this way : it might not be god's will, but that's how the universe is going, no? That's the way it's always been going and when we did not try to change it, things were ok. The point in all this? If the universe is meant to complexify itself, it means that anything uncomplexifying it has to be bad, or "evil". An example would be murder. Murder takes one's life away, therefore reducing the amount of complexity in the world, therefore, it is evil. Of course, you have to abide by moral ethics and the such, but you get the point. Eating a lot shouldn't be a "religious crime" as the 7 deadly sins indicate (as an example). Therefore, anything considered as destroying or causing destruction would have to be bad and everything that helps or doesn't necessarily hurt means you're keeping on the right track. Of course, there's the dilemma of "killing the killer". If someone is pointing a gun at someone else and you had to either let the victim die or take away the criminal's life, what would you do? Some ponder that "eliminating" the criminal is a bad action, as you shouldn't interfere with another person's life. However, you've just saved some other person's life by eliminating the criminal, which is definitely something good. If you want, you can consider it as neutral : Keeping someone alive while someone else dies, because in any case, one of them ends up dying anyways.
My point in this? Exposing a philosophy that I approve, along with a few tweaks when it comes to details. And, now, if you, our readers, approve or disapprove, I want you to tell me about it.
If you really don't like this take on things, say so. If you like it, state it. Tell us why and why not, tell us how stuff should be in your opinion, maybe we can pool our resources together?
Remember, I always appreciate total honesty.
Friday, May 1, 2009
"A Short Burst on: Procrastination" by G.
I don't particularly have much to say today, but I do have one thing that I really wanted to hear other opinions on. Procrastination; most of us have done it, and I'm probably have one of the more serious cases of it. My question is, why, even when we know we will regret it, do we continue to procrastinate? We know the outcome, we know that it will lead to headaches in the end, but sometimes it seems like it takes a lifetime to get started on something anyway. Is that little short term satisifation of not having to begin worth the cost of rushing to finish things at the last minute? What do you think about this? Comment away.
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