This is a very delicate subject to most people. However, it must be discussed with the people that are concerned.
When someone dies, there are many perspectives from which you can see the fact.
I'm not going to use white lies here, when someone dies, he's definitely gone... from the physical plane. Of course you may not believe in that "mental stuff", but this is just a way to see things. If you do not like these perspectives, please do find something that suits you, because that just might help you a little bit more on the journey of your life.
Anyways, as I was saying, when someone dies, he does not entirely disappear. So what if the person is not represented by their mortal coil anymore? As long as even one person remembers that person, he still exists. If you try to deny it, it will do no good to anybody. People do not just disappear like that. You do not even have to love the deceased person for him to still exist. As long as you remember him and pay him his due respects, and honor him, you do a bit of the only thing you can do : Remember the person.
"I haven't told that person I loved him/her enough, the last thing I told that person was this/that." Of course you never tell someone you love him/her enough! It is impossible to do so. You can only tell that person as much as you did, and if you really loved that person, he knows it, trust me. People know when you say stuff only because you are frustrated.
Another thing : Cry. Cry as much as you can. Fill rivers with your tears if you have to, in the first moments, it helps to evacuate the bad feelings. Cry it all out, then wash your face with fresh water. Clean the slate, as they say. From then on, you'll be strong for the departed one. I'm not saying you have to never ever cry again. Just remember the person and honor him/her as you must. The person died, and if it happened, it is because you could not have changed it. So you have to remember, do not take on the heavy weight of responsibility if it is not yours to bear! Think of it this way : The person is not suffering anymore.
And to finish with a note. If you think the person has abandoned you, then you are horribly wrong. I'm not going to tell you he's anywhere or anything, because you are free to think what you want to think. However, you loved that person and that person loved you too. So if the person loved you, would he/she really abandon you? Think about it. Maybe the person was just as helpless as you? A person that loves you never means to abandon you.
Be strong for the people you love, it is how their memories are carried on.
If not for you, do it for them.
A not very timely note
This was a blog I once wrote during my high school and early college years. I keep it around for nostalgic purposes, but it is quite obviously no longer updated. I am looking to make a more professional blog presence in the future, but I still like to look at where I was mentally at certain points in time.
- G. Jan 2013
- G. Jan 2013