*On a side note, sorry for my kinda long absence. You know how it is... needed a little break from this blog, but now I'm back. Man the harpoons! Eat cold breakfast cereal! Better yet, target your eyeballs on this here post.
Know all those people who think they aren't good at something? Bullocks. Besides being the fastest little man-cell to the egg, everyone is masterful at one thing; deceit. Oh yes my friend, you are the best manipulator around. We super stack hypocrisy with whey protein and drink that down while doing one finger push ups. We can analyze everything around us, but can't (or won't) see the truth... even if it was Megan Fox spontaneously growing a tail in front of us. Well hey, deceit has it's uses. Except for one little problem. We um... don't really control it. Or want to for that matter.
We all innately know that we deceive ourselves often. I wouldn't call it hypocrisy; more like being selective of what we choose to acknowledge. Sure, it doesn't make sense to process everything we see and hear, but the filters we use are always biased. We all have some ego, and we naturally protect it. You aren't going to post that you don't fit into those skinny jeans on twitter, or give a straight answer to the job interviewer when he asks what your greatest weakness is. So by naturally protecting that ego, we keep it safe and unbruised on a fluffy cloud. But through protecting our pride, we block off any desire to improve or advance. Pride is so simple, yet it's effects are very intrusive. The problem is that when we convince ourselves that everything is ok, and that we don't need to improve anything, we actually pull out solid evidence for that somehow. This makes it even harder to confront the issue and take a course of action. Self Deception is everywhere, from my procrastinating work habits to "I'm not that fat" to "I'll pay off all that credit card debt sometime, now lets jump in the Lamborghini already". Putting on a blindfold only takes problems out of sight, but never out of mind. So what's the moral here? Your pride is like an obese thirty-something that constantly wants to be fed, but does nothing for you. Don't smother your ego, but take the things that "hurt" it as a challenge. Self Deception is really just another excuse to avoid a confrontation that could benefit you in the end.
Is Self Deception really an accurate term? Deep inside I think we all know when we deny what's perfectly clear. Is it better to deny bad things for a little while, if just to take a little time to think? Comments; I want yours; good, bad, critical or celebratory if you feel that way today, heh.
4 comments:
Hi, I think that you would enjoy reading the books Leadership and Self Deception or Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute. Both books deeply define this idea of self deception and how it affects the relationships in our lives and also how it effects our efficiency at work.
Its a great topic. The idea that we keep ourselves from progressing by denying our accountability in situations is hard to chew but when we can figure out how to recognize it, it makes decision making so much easier.
Let me know what you think of the books!
@ Bear:
I read a bit about each book and they both sound interesting; I'll try to get my hands on those! Indeed, if we could gain the ability to control our own deceit, then our ability to act sooner rather than later improves greatly. Thank you for visiting; always appreciated!
In a job interview it's not (or at least not only)self-deception that entices a lie. You practically have to lie in order to insure your livelihood. I would be all too happy to expose my greatness weakness to a future employer if it didn't mean that I would be denied money for food and shelter.
@Friar
Yeah, when it comes to self preservation I'm sure none of us would hesitate to do what is necessary to preserve our means of survival; there's no moral high horse when it comes to that. I think Self Deception becomes a real problem when it influences major life choices and the way you treat, and perceive, others. Like you said, I would spin things in my favor to assure I can get what I need to live. But if my Self Deception prolongs my other problems and challenges, then the life I'm sustaining would be a pretty miserable one. Self Deception is really more of a personal thing; just thoughts that influence actions and views, nothing more.
Well thanks for dropping in Friar; hope to see future comments!
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