Saltwater Lifecycle

Well, I won't even pretend to be under the assumption that there is still a soul who reads any of the written word of this blog heh; the tidal wave of life finally caught up... a crippling wave of thought, chaos and unmade decisions striking in a single blow. They say that one of the important things to do in life is to build roots; a foundation of values and morals that keeps one steadfast at the most turbulent of times. But if nothing is truly certain in life, how can it have the stability of dry land? Maybe we really are all just in an ocean. We try hard to build a boat that can sustain us, and give us a greater ability to determine our direction, and therefore our fate. While our "boats" are made up of our values, morals, and beliefs, they are not permanent. We cannot prepare for every possibility. Sometimes the beliefs we held most dear must be put aside in the face of a situation that is too novel to use traditional tactics. Like the ocean, an eternal entity of liquid that can take any form, we must be willing to activate our formidable imaginations once in awhile and create our own unique solutions. Of course, this only leads to a new question. Will the creations of the mind bring peace, or suffering; sanity, or madness? As the creations of men burst forth from the sea, what became of the weary travelers who drift across this vast expanse? Even when the soul perishes, the story it wrote in life lives on. And out of that same sea, another life is given it's deck of cards, and placed into the storm...

The Cradle

If you were to look back at the relatively short history of mankind, you would find a rich backdrop of vibrant colors, pulsating sounds and sights that at times can only be recreated in the imagination. Events that took your thoughts aloft straight into an electrical brainstorm. Competition was always fierce. The Space Race, the Arms Race, Politicians and their about faces. Battles were won, in both the ethical arena and the theater of operations. Demonstrators fought for a cause with their voices and sheer presence, and soldiers became acquainted with the color red in the midst of automatic gunfire. What was their fuel? A better future? A urge to maintain what already existed? Did they have ideals that humbled the most egocentric soul to action? In times of disaster, of discovery, of being on the brink of yet another achievement, that sense of elation at the combined actions of the people is all too brief.

I like to hear people's thoughts on things like the future, destiny, and fate. But in my eyes, the Earth is just a large blue and green cradle. An entire species without any guidance. We try as we might to fill that gap; Religion, philosophies, principles, and occasionally getting very, very drunk. And yet, humanity is still here. Against all odds. Our sheer brainpower, our raw individuality; it could almost be seen as baking soda volcano, waiting for the vinegar to be dumped on it. And yet, we exist.

Sometimes it seems like there aren't many things that polarize people anymore. Our favorite pasttime has become discussing what new doomsday will befall us. I don't know about you, but I still think that somewhere underneath the madness, we have learned somewhat from our mistakes. And we've made plenty. But like a child who is just learning to walk, we are all going to take our share of stumbles. There's still a long road ahead. If we do ever make it to the point where we deem ourselves ready to move out of our planetary house, I just might shed a tear. It would be a hell of an accomplishment.

A Mind and Its Legos

As much as I feel like giving the readers of this blog an apology for my long absence, I think a new post would suffice :P. The muse in me is a very bipolar creature, and it was in a creative hole for quite a bit. I'm happy to say that it managed to climb out of that hole for the time being. Anyways; onward.

I wish I could say that imagination was somewhat independent. I wish I could say that anyone could generate a fresh and unique idea out of seemingly nowhere. Truth is, our minds are the collective sum of many, many different inputs. Whether we know it or not, everything we see and experience has a place. That place could be temporary, and slip out of your mind five seconds later. It could be permanent; a strong memory firmly entrenching itself into the mysterious mist in your head. But one could almost think of experiences as puzzle pieces. There isn't a specific puzzle to be made; with the right combinations of thoughts, anything can be created. That ability; to combine seemingly non-related ideas into a completely new animal... it never ceases to amaze me. So do I think we are a blank slate? Sure. In the sense that our brains are ready made to receive ideas. But we don't just experience; we memorize and then manipulate our own thoughts. Every invention, every work of art, every piece of writing; you could break them down into their separate parts. But even though those parts existed before, that final product would never have come to fruition without a human mind to sort out the pieces and rearrange it into that insightful novel or sophisticated smart phone. That simple fact; it is humanity's ultimate gift, for better or for worse.

I'm always open to your comments, so fire away! Adios.

The Wild Card

I am a big believer in the jack of all trades. When two sides appear to be at a stalemate, it is usually the unforeseen variable that turns the tide in a direction that no one could anticipate. Every person of stature in history, every charismatic person that ruled a crowd with their microphone, and any person that goes above and beyond what is asked of them... they are never implanted firmly on the one side of anything. Their strengths provide ability, while their flaws provide understanding. One who knows a little of everything has a wider perceptive than a specialist who can see a single slice of the pie in greater detail.

Did the Renaissance men have it right? Would you rather have a little knowledge of everything, or an expert's critical eye on a few things? When two sides are in conflict, is it always a wild card that has to upset the balance?

Would love to hear your opinions on this. Until next time, don't let life have it's way with your brains; keep on truckin'.

Roots

The ecosystem around you can be quite amazing.

Walking outside, your eyes could be exposed to a multitude of things. The buildings, the people, cars, roads, bridges, and other places where humanity declared that x marks the spot. Sometimes it's a bit of a shock to imagine that at one time, there was not a speck of human ingenuity, or mistakes, as far as your eyes could see.

Then the human spark arrived, and broke the ground with a shovel.

In a similar way, anything and everything that is complex in the slightest was built from the ground up. Without roots, a tree would fall at the slightest nudge. Without a foundation, a building would have to learn to live with lying on it's side. And without our mental skeleton, our minds would just be a overactive, disorganized mess.

I could say that a start to being a perfect human being would be the perfect mental foundation. And I would be dead wrong. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. And while a weak link in a bridge could lead to disaster, a bad experience in a person's childhood can make them all the wiser.

So our mental roots require as much loving water as they need a few dark times away from the sun. But what determines this optimal mix? The same abusive childhood that turns one into a savior can make another into a psychotic killer. Genetics and upbringing clash in infinitely different ways, bringing out a diversity in humanity that goes beyond the physical.

A person's mental roots can manifest themselves in every aspect of a person's life. How can a person change when their experiences, good or bad, chain their intellect in some way? What do you think?

Acceptance

Acceptance can be liberation; the breaking of a chain that binds to a single place. It can also be a final judgment; taking things to be the way they are, with not a shred of hope for change.

It's easy to stay where we are; change is a disruption no doubt. But when one accepts themselves for who they are, instead of settling for the fact that we all judge each other, one is truly free. Extraneous opinion no longer holds weight. Life tries and tries to throw the knockout punch, but true acceptance of who you really are simply cannot be broken.

Life can be a very tiring game. An ever shifting landscape of masks, facades, and a struggle for the acceptance of society. But it is that drive to gain acceptance that chains us. To accept ourselves, and in the process accept each other unconditionally; this is an aspect of true freedom.

Once in awhile, let the inner you out to play, with no reservations. Life is short. And it could surely use some fresh air.

The Ambiguity of Good and Evil

Yep; I'm back. It's been awhile, but hopefully I have a brief, concentrated figment of thought for the pleasure of your superego. Hopefully, I haven't hemorrhaged too many readers from my long absence, from the small amount of people who care about the existence of this minuscule part of the internet. But I digress. Lets move on.

It's a struggle that never ends; a mental tangle of great passion and excruciating hopelessness. When one pulls off the black and white shade that makes life easy, we stumble into a world that has too many possibilities to make sense of. Good and Evil. Concepts unique to Man. Primarily based off perception, but defended to the bone by the hardcore of both sides. We draw the lines in the sand, secretly knowing that we ourselves could easily have been the person on the other side of the moral chasm. The death, destruction, and acts that boggle the kind hearted soul; reported without fail by the news media. One starts to wonder. Why?

We think we can define something as complex as good and evil. Anyone who brings harm to others is evil. Deception always has fiendish intentions. Lying rips a imaginary halo right off a person's head. But it is never that simple. It will never be that simple. Why do people do bad things? Can we honestly say that they just "are" bad people? I'm a big believer in nuture; the sum of our experiences creates the whole; ourselves. Our jails and prisons have their fair share of drug addicts and the mentally ill. Does this make them "evil"? Abuse, humiliation, and mental suffering during those critical childhood years causes unspeakable damage to occur; some of these victims become the very people they detest. Of course I cannot discount nature. Abnormalities in the neuroanatomy of one's brain and neurological diseases can adversely affect certain aspects of a person. If that person were to commit an "evil" act, what does one do? Many mental illnesses cannot be effectively treated, yet we also cannot allow crimes and criminal acts to occur. Where do we draw the line?

This is the first part of my look into this tantalizing debate. I would love to hear your opinions and thoughts on this matter. To those who regularly read this blog; I thank you, and apologize for my long absence. Adios!

The Shoe that Fits

The shoe that fits isn't always the nicest looking. We'll keep trying them on. Pair after pair. Some might be aiming for that fancy ass pair of neon hybrid material that caresses your feet like a seedy massage therapist. Some won't care what other people think, and will wear that pair of worn hiking boots. Not because they have flashing lights in them. Not because everyone you know wants a pair of them. Simply because they fit.

Obviously the point of this post is not about shoes. I hate shopping, much less replacing the pair of ratty sneakers I've been wearing since Bush started his term. Replace the shoes with another idea. Purpose. Meaning. Desire. Drive. You get the picture. They say we have a choice. Do we? Yes. But is it as simple as saying yes or no? Never.

Who am I? Another college kid who thinks he's some kind of philosopher because he can string a few simple thoughts together? Aiming to become some kind of doctor, and yet not really desiring the target? Give me a pad and a pencil, and I would be happy. Then Life kicks you in the ass and your stomach starts rumbling and you realize being happy won't make food appear on the table or pay any bills. What are the real choices? Go with what makes you happy, even if it's not very plausible, and hope you get lucky? Or go with what's realistic, even if that shoe might be too tight for you to be comfortable in?

Anyways, I think you understand the main idea here. I would like to pose this question; is a happy, short life better than a drawn out, mediocre one with all the creature comforts?

G. and the Input Blitz

Your right hand reaches into the pocket of your jeans, and emerges from the denim depths with a house key. You walk out that door, turning around only to secure your sanctuary with the jagged piece of metal. Nothing unusual. Yet. Where the story goes from here depends on who the protagonist is. You might be walking to a bus for another mediocre day at generic public school #101. A car seat might we waiting for you to insert your weary behind on it for another day at work. If your about thirty something, and your waking up after a long night of drinking cheap supermarket beer at your parent's house, I just might slap you. If I could. I'm only the narrator. Anyways, it's not about the destination; the journey is where it's at. What's so special about commuting to work, or walking to school, or hiding in a bat cave waiting for the night shift? Well, nothing. Nothing to do with you; but what's around you. Input.

It's everywhere! In the newspaper. Your cough when you realized you forgot to vacuum. All the engine lights going on when your car starts. Advertisements, crying babies, guy in chicken suit, honking madman in the next lane; it's too much to process!?!?

That is, if we process it. Because we don't pay attention to any of that now do we? If we did, we would be a tier above normal crazy. That's because we don't pay much attention to our surroundings any more. And why would we? There's a far better place to hang out; our own minds. And hence the Input Blitzkrieg means nothing... or does it?

What does it mean to live in a state of perpetual dreaming? To live real life on auto pilot. When a person dreads waking up the next day. When the bus ride to school is one of irritating sleepiness. Auto-pilot is great for when the pilot of your commuter plane gets amnesia and no one has experience with a Microsoft Flight Sim. It's a horrible way to live.

Any rational person would say that survival has to be placed above all else. But is the sacrifice of the fire in your soul worth the kind of life that seems to mean little more than a dead man walking? There's so much input, so much hidden in our surroundings. To forever live in our own heads, instead of experiencing what's outside of it; that's real suffering. A mobile jail cell; one that many of us have put ourselves in, willingly or not. The only way to escape? To bring life back to the soul.

Sorry for the little delay with this post. Please, if you've got an opinion on any of my thoughts here, I would love to hear it.

Focus

I'm a walking case file. Somewhere in some tired psychologist's office, there's a file with my name and a giant label: ADHD. Yes, the file is imaginary. The feeling that my mind's cross hairs are all over the place isn't. Oh how I envy those who can carve a make believe box out of thin air and put themselves in it, with only them and the object of their efforts. Is this some kind of challenge? Even having the end in mind, would I succumb to the day by day beat down, or clamp down on the steering wheel hard enough to stop my thoughts from spiraling into the most random stuff this side of Wonderland? Look, I even caught myself red handed right on this very moment, writing a post instead of studying the words of a third edition textbook (fork over another $100 for an extra chapter eh?). Sometimes I would even feel ashamed of my inability to focus. It's like a fire that roars for a few seconds, then gets doused by a blast of ash. Surrounded by a flurry of worries and doubt, and even make believe issues, how do we just simply focus? Comment away.

Middle-Men - A Random Burst of Inspiration, Written by Sir

Hey, there. Been a while, huh? Yeah. Well, I’m not gonna promise any surge in my article posting, and I really hope you don’t expect anything, because me actually working on something straight is quite a feat.
I’m just saying this so you don’t get disappointed if you only see me again in a year :).

Anyways, back to the inspiration! (Because if I don’t write this down right now, I might just lose it again).

So, most of you have heard of a middle-man, right? Be it drugs, business or other dealings, middle-men are people who connect two parties, so that they do not need to compromise their identities or to facilitate exchanges. As such, they come in pretty handy, right?But that’s not the only type of middle-men you might come across.

Do you :

=-Really appreciate George’s company, but you’re not really sure about his seriousness in work?

=-Like Bobby’s enthusiasm, but are dismayed by the amount of epic failures in his life?

=-Enjoy the large quantity of inside jokes you share with Karl, although he’s kind of really obnoxious at times?

=-Find that the experiences you shared with Johnny or Mark were very good ones, and that you may know them better than the others because of that, yet you can’t bring yourself to be more than a decent friend, even though you know them well?

If so, you might be the middle-man. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to follow these points perfectly to be a middle-man, or even if you do, it doesn’t mean you necessarily are one. This is just an example set out to give you a basis on which to *mildly* rely.

I can already hear you guys :
“But, do explain, kind sir, what your point is in all this rambling!”

Right away, then! As with most of my posts, there is no real point. Only trying to make you realize something : If you keep wondering why you don’t fit in with most people, why you’re sometimes seen as the crowd pleaser although people usually don’t see you shine a lot or even just if you can’t seem to pick a best friend, this might be the reason. You’re the balanced person, the pillar on which they connect. You might have noticed your friends don’t have a lot of common traits, while you share your lot with most of them.

Doesn’t it make sense, then, that you are the one that “brought the group together”, somewhat? Maybe not literally, but if you’re the guy that keeps helping other people out in whatever way you can, while not really giving it your, ever, this position might describe you.

If I’m not wrong, you’re the guy who separately understands some or most of your friends, while still not really knowing them.

I’m writing this because of a burst of imagination, and I’m not sure if all of this is true or not, but consider this as the life experience progression of a teenage soul, swimming in a pool of daily epic wins, awesomeness, drama, and whatnot.

Your opinions, comments, or just random keyboard-bashing with your fists are all welcome, here.

Until inspiration strikes again!

The Summit

Let's talk about a summit. The top of the mountain. The crest of a wave. Lumbering a giant ball of worry and stress over a hill. We all have that one point. A point that could dictate just about everything. Now this point, it's ageless. It doesn't magically happen when you turn eighteen, or get arrested for public intoxication, or sign a contract to the Man. You see, there are two sides to this mountain. One side is your life as ruled by your circumstances. The other side is truth, who you actually are; where you and I don't have to daydream about how things could be any longer. Now that other side of the mountain, it's sweet; isn't it? I almost feel myself being wrapped in a cocoon of that Dove chocolate just thinking about it. Now while we want to take the best, neglected parts of ourselves out of cold storage... damn! We've got company. Obstacles and Doubt at 12 0'clock.

So chief; you want to be happy? Great! Just climb up this mountain, and ride down a river of Dos Equis to a heavenly valley below. But I may be stretching the truth a bit. It's not an utopia your trying to get to here. It's harmony. We've all got ambition. Some go to college, some get jobs, some just say to hell with it and try to give their one shot to their dream. But how many of us can honestly say without a tinge of regret that we are doing what we want to do in life? I can honestly say that a few years ago I wouldn't have imagined myself being where I am; I bet a lot of you could say the same. Yet there are so many obstacles. There's one I want to really focus on though. Sure, you've got your life circumstances, health, money, parents, lifestyle, religion; the list of excuses and reasons can last longer than Stride Gum. But how about Illusion? Escape? Our overextended stays in Dream Land are not doing us any favors.

I'll be the first to say that I dream a lot. I don't want to admit to myself that I have no idea of what I'm doing in life. With daily news that should come with a hefty dose of Xanax... that ain't helping. So a tactical retreat into the safe confines of our mind, it provides the temporary Band-Aid we need. But the idea of slapping mental Band-Aids onto chronic life woes is just not appealing. We could go through our whole lives only being ourselves and only doing what we really wanted to do in our own heads. It's not hard to believe. Mental escapes prevent us from facing that mountain summit... kinda like House and his pain meds. It's nice to live in dreams, but you can't climb a mountain half asleep.

So we've circled back. What do you think we should do? That point of radical change is vital; some reach their point and decide that they want to fly. Some can't take the pressure of reality and gravity pummels them back to earth with an invisible fist. But what is life? Maybe to you it's just a series of moments. To some it's a highly organized machine of schedules and appointments. For the ones sitting in desolate rooms watching time slowly pass on a clock, life is a countdown. But life can be anything. It's all relative, isn't it? We'll spend a long time trying to find out who we are, but maybe we already know. And maybe, just maybe, we know that things aren't going the way we imagined. What's the only issue here? Can you fight past the circumstances of your life? Can you wake up and trade the fake security of dreams for a golden feeling of happiness that so few get to have? That's the only question. Can you and I make the leap, and get over that mountain?

"The Greatest Fear"

Fear is scientifically defined as a chemical based response to a threat. When you think of fear, the classics appear; monsters, spiders, the dark, heights. Then there are fears that you can feel, but can never really detect. They go beyond the physical; they exist only in your mind's eye. Our dreams and life's reality are in a constant state of change. This inner conflict is invisible; a slow paced chess game. But you know, part of the problem that comes with over thinking is that you tend to go over every possible scenario, regardless of it's logic. My greatest fear? That I won't even begin to uncover the question of why I'm here. That I could quite possibly be nothing but an anomaly of nature with no real purpose. Little questions like these that continue to gnaw on my soul far after I stopped sleeping with a nightlight. How can a question be a fear? It's not the question itself, it's the process of attempting to answer them with the limited time and resources we have. Then again, only a person with manic neurons in his head like myself would think so much about this that I would go to this conclusion. Anyway, what do you think your greatest fear is, and are fears like the ones I stated just a result of over thinking, or are they valid?

"Stories"

Stories walk the earth. Tales exist in the air we breathe. They are hiding in the cracks of the sidewalks that stretch across suburbia. The moving truck, the cigarette butts that litter the ground of certain spots, a empty lot shadowed by a foreclosed building; all have a story to tell. Because that moving truck came from somewhere, driven by a man who once had a higher ambition, to move the belongings of a family who wanted to start over. The cigs weave a tale of a man who filled his lungs with smoke to have one simple pleasure; to cope with the stresses of his life. Even the empty lot once contained a bustling crowd of minivans and compact cars parked next to a supermarket that had long since went bankrupt. But stories are also hidden in the most secure mobile safe known to man; his own brain. A story probably just passed by you on your daily commute. Every person you've ever seen or met is a story in the making. The ballpoint pen moves slow on some days, but every once in awhile something amazing happens, and that memory will exist as part of your life story. If there's any goal to life, consider this one; if they had to turn your story into a novel long after the pen has stopped writing, make damn sure it was a good tale. Stories and tales are a rich part of life. If you watch television, inhale movies, read or write, then you know the power of a good story. But stories don't just exist in those mediums, they are hidden everywhere. All you really need is a good keen eye.

"Mankind"

We came out of the womb; little faces opening their eyes to a bright new world
Fathers and Mothers staring in wonder at the life they had newly molded
First came a crawl, then a single step
We fell many times, only to get up again
First words brought laughs of delight
Our cries have kept many mothers up all night
But time cannot be stopped; the seeds begin to sprout
To parents we started being a little less devout
Mischief, mistakes, silly games
Kisses, heartbreak, the affections of a dame
Through our mistakes we grew
Until the time was right
The Rite of Passage would be taken tonight
Choices would be made, covered in sunlight or rain
Our hands can help and heal
Or hurt and maim
Yet such is the beauty of the human race
We aren't born with claws or overwhelming strength
But a mind of formidable sharpness
And a soul that begins pristine
Whether our touch purifies the ones around us
or defiles with burning hate
Well...
That choice is yours to make.

Self Deception

*On a side note, sorry for my kinda long absence. You know how it is... needed a little break from this blog, but now I'm back. Man the harpoons! Eat cold breakfast cereal! Better yet, target your eyeballs on this here post.

Know all those people who think they aren't good at something? Bullocks. Besides being the fastest little man-cell to the egg, everyone is masterful at one thing; deceit. Oh yes my friend, you are the best manipulator around. We super stack hypocrisy with whey protein and drink that down while doing one finger push ups. We can analyze everything around us, but can't (or won't) see the truth... even if it was Megan Fox spontaneously growing a tail in front of us. Well hey, deceit has it's uses. Except for one little problem. We um... don't really control it. Or want to for that matter.

We all innately know that we deceive ourselves often. I wouldn't call it hypocrisy; more like being selective of what we choose to acknowledge. Sure, it doesn't make sense to process everything we see and hear, but the filters we use are always biased. We all have some ego, and we naturally protect it. You aren't going to post that you don't fit into those skinny jeans on twitter, or give a straight answer to the job interviewer when he asks what your greatest weakness is. So by naturally protecting that ego, we keep it safe and unbruised on a fluffy cloud. But through protecting our pride, we block off any desire to improve or advance. Pride is so simple, yet it's effects are very intrusive. The problem is that when we convince ourselves that everything is ok, and that we don't need to improve anything, we actually pull out solid evidence for that somehow. This makes it even harder to confront the issue and take a course of action. Self Deception is everywhere, from my procrastinating work habits to "I'm not that fat" to "I'll pay off all that credit card debt sometime, now lets jump in the Lamborghini already". Putting on a blindfold only takes problems out of sight, but never out of mind. So what's the moral here? Your pride is like an obese thirty-something that constantly wants to be fed, but does nothing for you. Don't smother your ego, but take the things that "hurt" it as a challenge. Self Deception is really just another excuse to avoid a confrontation that could benefit you in the end.

Is Self Deception really an accurate term? Deep inside I think we all know when we deny what's perfectly clear. Is it better to deny bad things for a little while, if just to take a little time to think? Comments; I want yours; good, bad, critical or celebratory if you feel that way today, heh.

Staying Alive; Survival, Adaption & "Going Green"

I was sitting here today looking for replacement water filters for a Brita pitcher, slightly irritated by how a plastic thing full of activated carbon could be so expensive. But the alternative wasn't pretty; you never know what microbes or strange metals are lurking in your water. This really got me thinking though. Survival, and the steps we take to implement it, have changed dramatically since we first roamed this earth. Adaption leads to very interesting courses of action, such as the current cry to "go green".

In a capitalist society, money supposedly equates to survival. But money isn't a guarantee. It can buy you the tools and resources that you need, sure. But only as long as the money has strong value, and the economy's good, and prices aren't force fed protein by inflation. If someone maintains all their basic needs with money, then they are vulnerable to the same highs and lows as the economy. But if a person were really smart, they would try to become as self sufficient as possible; to not be totally dependent on the grid. Take the Green Revolution for example; it doesn't only just aid the planet, but takes away some of your dependence on current utilities & energy sources. Using sunlight for power, collecting rainwater, growing veggies in the backyard; a few ways of increasing self sufficiency. In a way, green techniques reduce the use of money to buy your "needs", leaving more to fund your "wants".

The obvious fact is that survival is about adaption to any situation. The economy is in bad shape; money can't be used as a crutch as often. But what's this? BAM! I can cook pies with sunlight? Filter my own water? Buy local produce? Hell yeah mother nature! But going green has more ties to survival than meets the eye. In good times, like the nineties for instance, jobs were plentiful and people on Wall Street had goofy grins on their faces. Green technology would have been good in itself, but there was simply no perceived need. Everything was hunky dory. As soon as everything began to unravel, then a credible threat to people's standards of living came about. Suddenly, anything that could cut costs looked like it had a holy aura on it. Green tech is just another tool in this process.

So what's the one good tip on survival that could be timeless? Invest in the renewable, and beware of the unstable. What everyone else uses isn't always the best; most of the time there is a better way. What are your thoughts on this? Long, short, rambling; all comments are welcome.

Float

We do it all the time. Floating I mean. Not in the cross legged position on a bamboo rug, but in the rivers of flowing thought and in the light breeze of random ideas. Floating is nice, but we spend too much time floating and not enough with the stability of our feet firmly touching the ground. You and me, we probably have some idea of where we are going, and what we want to do. But it isn't definite. It's like being pushed in one direction by a soft wind instead of the power of our own two feet. We can't control a breeze, but we can change the direction that we walk. But it's difficult. It's easy to let one's self be pushed to an acceptable destination by life. It's a true challenge to will yourself to travel to the right place. And so we float... in our dreams, our hopes, our deepest wishes. But to do that is to be a kite with no one holding the handle. Eventually you and me and everyone else has to come down from the clouds and face what Mr. Reality has to offer. Deals we can't refuse. Deals we can refuse. It's up to us to pick a deal. Or maybe, just maybe, rip up the contract and carve out our own path. One that we have to hike, but at least we hike it out of our own will, and not out of the wishes and wants of other people.

Fishing for an Idea

I woke up today, looked at the ceiling and thought "I will find something worth writing about." My eyes scanned the blue green walls of the room; a finger or two doing a drum solo on the desk. Blinds opened part way; letting in sunlight and a temporarily serene view. Temporary, because the lusty growl of a lawnmower shattered the silence.

As the day progressed, my mind struggled to create that brilliant writing idea. The sun beat down on weary souls forced to navigate the neighborhood streets. Maybe an infusion of fresh air would cleanse my brain? Three steps out the door; breathe through the nose, out through the mouth. Anything new? Nah.

How about television? The screen treats me to a scene of a war movie. Lets ride the channel surf; drama, comedy, reality show... I realized that my brain had probably prematurely aged during this time. Power off.

10 P.M. The sun had gone to give a hug to the other side of the world. My mind weary from searching, I looked at the single lamp illuminating the room. And then I see it. A notebook; it's covered in a fine film of dust. I had finally realized my folly.

Good ideas can't be found. Epiphanies don't appear from flooding your brain with endorphins or being inspired by a outdoor gear commercial. Ideas just don't show up when your try to scour for them with radar. This post... written in that neglected notebook. Writing naturally let that innate creativity flow outwards; staring at a computer screen brought me nowhere. I'm used to being methodical; society demands efficiency and aggressiveness to solve problems. But the lack of an idea wasn't a problem. I was gently reminded that when it comes to creativity, you just gotta let it be.

Thriving on Chaos?

Peace, harmony and an olive branch. If you asked most people, they would probably say that those are wonderful things to strive for. But in the midst of all this, something has been poking at my mind for awhile now. We always seem to do what is counter productive to our ideals. We want to be happy, yet we stay in the same state and do the same things that we know keep us unhappy. People will persist in keeping bad relationships alive, stay in the same unfulfilling jobs, and keep tuning in to the same depressing news; accepting it all with little protest. Will there be complaints? You bet. But actual action? Not for awhile. Very few of us are just magically born with the ability to take pre-emptive strikes towards change. And then we come to that simple word; change. What is it about change that strikes fear into the minds of so many?

I tried to imagine a world without a shred of conflict. No wars or dissent. No natural disasters or economies going kablooey. That is what we all want... isn't it? But I don't think so. I think there is something about chaos that forces us to act. We all would love to change something, but the biggest fear is what would actually happen if that change came about. I don't think it's peace we want, but understanding. I desperately want to understand the world and it's people, and why we act the way we do. Why we fight endless wars. Why we have big stockpiles of nukes in the event that we are attacked by our own kind. Why people who seem to have everything they could ever want are still unhappy and looking for that missing piece...

When the peoples of the world understand each other, they will no longer need a reason to point their weapons across oceans. There will always be disagreements, dissent, and chaos. We can never change or grow without them. But there is a difference between learning from the chaos, or getting swept up in it. It's not world peace we want; peace is temporary until the next shot is fired, whether that bullet is verbal or made of metal. We need global understanding. To use our differences to improve the magnifying glass that we have put on our biggest questions since man first put pen to paper.