Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Renascent ~ Part 3

Aaaaaand part 3.

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And then you came along. You, with knowledge of the woods, the surroundings. You, with knowledge of life as a hunter, life as prey and life as something so impressive yet so vulnerable. Your gleaming eyes and your sharp teeth, your wild brown fur and your pointed claws. As soon as I saw you, I knew. I knew you were destined to guide me, to be my guardian in this forest, appointed by the very forest itself. Your vision shall be my compass; your intellect and knowledge, my map; your might and agility, my shield.

I then gazed upon you and knew we’d be connected forever, bound as companions on a tiresome journey are. I would help you carry out your quest as you would help me complete my search for truth.And so, we set off with light hearts and steps on a random trail, while trying to think of ways to communicate, since we were so different…

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No more images, guys, sorry! Takes too much time to come up with :(

Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Renascent ~ Chapter 2

I'll just leave this here.

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As I woke up, I felt an urge… a strong impulse. I desperately needed to cover my manhood. Unfortunately, the only trees around here were pine trees… As you can see, I still haven’t found anything suitable. Bah, I guess that’ll come with time and a bit of luck.

I decided to get up and start walking around… The area seemed pretty desolate. A little dirt path, some chunks of wood lying around, a bunch of rocks, some water and a whole lot of trees. Oh, how joyful.

Something felt weird about all this, though. I didn’t see the trees. I couldn’t gaze into the water. I felt it. Felt it all as if it was a part of me… For some reason, I felt as if I knew everything about every single tiny speck of dust littering the very soil I stepped upon. Everything was blurry, my brain was about to burst and I couldn’t walk for long before I fell over, dizzy. yet I felt as if I still had control over everything… Strange, as everything is up until now…

So I sat down and looked at the sky, for a while, trying to make things out.

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And another piece of crappily conceived artwork! Hope this one isn't too blurry or anything...



If you guys are lucky I might be able to post on next monday... However that's unlikely, as I'll be in Cuba for a week!

Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Renascent ~ Chapter 1

Sorry for being late again, it won't (obvious lie is obvious) happen again!

Anyways, on to the show... I know you guys don't like to read all the interesting stuff I have to tell you, so let's jump to the hopefully not horrible story!

Here goes nothing...

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~- What is this?
O- It appears to be some sort of … key.
~- Well, what do I do with it?
O- You should consider inserting it in that keyhole, there, on the wall.
~- Here goes nothing…

A breeze rushed in and everything went black…

I awoke in a dark chamber; my arm was tightly chained to the cold stone wall. There was something definitely… different about the experience. I’m quite… intimate with chains and cells, but I felt like something was out of place. I think it was the chain… yes. It was that bright blue, glowing chain... What a glow! It felt like happiness was directly emanating from that chain… a pure feeling of bliss. I never wanted to leave this cell again. Ever. But that bliss came to an end… the day I died.

They took my corpse out and threw it in a river, bordered by trees but close to no current… They thought the depth of the river would be enough to erase my existence. People never do get the job done right.

They had overestimated their own precious little river… and so my body was found by a bunch of kids hiking through the woods some years later. For some reason, they felt no fear while approaching my decaying carcass… Even though I was dead, I could still feel their presence, kind of like a pulse… And there was also a darker pulse, of another nature… Although I couldn’t really tell what that was about. To see all this life pass by and be unable to do anything! It was wonderful and yet oh so scary. After they pulled me out, my body reanimated itself with a jolt that scared those kids out of their skins. Well, at the very least, I didn’t see them when I opened my eyes. I have no idea of what’s been done to me, but I came back to – No. I didn’t come back to life… It wasn’t the same. Although I don’t have any decent memory of my life before my… death, I do know it was nothing like this. This… Power! I felt so free, so strong! My mind was clearer than crystal and my muscles, harder than the very rock I sat upon.

I still have no idea what has happened to me, but it felt like a new beginning.

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Wow, lucky you, I even made you some original artwork for you to enjoy!



Alrighty then! Tune in sometime between next monday and 2010 for chapter 2!

Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Fromager's Tribulations (Part 5)

Oh my god, guys! It's the last part! Hopefully you've read this from the beginning (I'm quite amazed that you haven't died from a heart attack yet, zorlone) and you'll enjoy this... uh... "creative" ending.

Our friends then entered Patrick’s room… “What are you doing in my room?!?” asked the latter, in his grinding voice, while he threw the piece of cheddar he was nibbling on in a basket made of cheese.”We’ve come to end your reign of tyranny and cheesiness, Patrick!” replied Jordan. ”That’s right, you fat, evil man!” added John quite obnoxiously. So our heroes and our antagonist clashed in a mighty battle… which lasted 20 seconds. As fat and slow as Patrick was, he only managed to crawl over to John’s foot and let his floppy arms fall upon it, inflicting minor bruises to himself, as Jordan was reciting a magical spell and John was cowering before Patrick’s mighty blubber. As soon as the spell was ready, Jordan let loose his inner might. A flash of light occurred and all you could then see was a giant scissor-shaped angel with a mighty hammer. It was Jordon, the true form of Jordan! The mighty, heavenly scissorsmith. His hammer descended upon Patrick’s frightened face and hit his hat really softly. Millions of tiny scissorlings exited the head of the hammer and proceeded to trim Patrick’s scraggly beard into friendly mutton chops. Cut off from his beard, and thus from his power, Patrick fell in a coma.

Many thanks yet again to our anonymous Googled Benefactor.

Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Fromager's Tribulations (Part 4)

Sorry for being so late! Don't really have an excuse except my crappy memory.
On to the story! (Now with 35% more magic and awesome!)

When they arrived in front of the gigantic, black, and crooked tower, they could just gasp, awed by its awesomeness. Of course, it was imposing, but not too imposing for our heroes, who proceeded to enter it. As they entered, they could see the multitude of traps laid there for visitors. After a couple of hours, traps, fake pennies and little cuts, our friends got through. Of course, there just had to be a big magical door blocking the way at the end.
“What are the magical words?” asked the door.
John proceeded to reply: “Err… please and thank you?”As John was contemplating the sense of his answers, the door threw a bunch of rocks (Hey, it’s a magical door, remember?) at our heroes. John quickly proceeded to fall face-first on the floor, to avoid his rock as Jordan round-house kicked the rest to oblivion.All except one… The One Rock To Rule Them All. Except it just kept going and killed the janitor that was looking at the scene.”No, you moron! It’s open sesame!” yelled Jordan.
The door opened, but not before it could throw another rock at John’s manhood (Don’t worry, he also has a magically enhanced jock-strap).

Thank you, anonymous googled benefactor, for this piece of awesome.

Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Fromager's Tribulations (Part 3)

As he arrived in the fields, John could see armies, wait, what am I saying? He could see hordes of mice running towards a far away building with cheese on their backs! It was obvious John should act… at least to feed himself. So he decided to take a stick and poke a mouse with it. Of course, his results hurt the mouse and got him all the attention in the world. As soon as he did so, the mouse released a piercing howl (don’t ask me how it did it), which alerted every other mice in a large radius. The mice were all looking at John, and John was looking at the mice, as Jordan was looking at the sky’s pale blue color. Suddenly, the mice started attacking John, who threw Jordan at them in desperate defence. Before he could even realize it, all the mice were laying flat. “How did you do that?” asked he Jordan.
- Eh, well, a magical pair of scissors has its benefits…
- Whatever you say…
Our heroes then crossed the field…

This one's also from Google.

Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Fromager's Tribulations (Part 2)

As he stepped outside of his house, John saw an old lady stuck under a horse. Intrigued by the elder’s position, he decided to go and help her, after hearing her pleading: “Help! Help me! You look strong, young man, please come on over and get this horse off of me!”. As John was a brave, young man, he lifted the fallen horse with his strong arms, thus freeing the old lady. “Thank you, mighty hero!” she said. “It is now my duty to help you back… See that field over there? And that little spot in the distance? That’s Patrick’s tower… You should find him there.”
- Alright… but, how did you get under that horse…?
- Ugh… long story. Well, I was going through the city with my son, when the horse got scared and ran away… of course it didn’t take long for it to fall over me. My son, as the coward he is, preferred to flee and leave me to die.
- Uh… hold on a second… grandma, is that you? You know, dad told you like 5 days ago that this horse was a fake… look, it’s made of linen and yarn!
- Oh… right… well… Get out of my way, brigand!

And thus his grandmother ran away. But, she managed to doodle something for him before going on her senile rampage! John picked the map and made his way towards the fields of impending-immediate-and-not-so-far-away doom.


This one was taken from Google.

Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Fromager's Tribulations (Part 1)

Oh golly, another witty story from Sir? What a bunch of privileged readers you are!

Ah, but enough modesty, on to the reading of the beginning of this cheesy (you'll get the bad pun soon enough) adventure!

Once upon a time, in the little town of Fromager, whose principal economical activity was the exportation of cheese lived happy people. Alas, an evil wizard named Patrick decided to command all the mice to take the cheese to his crooked, black tower, for he was hungry. So the mice obeyed to the fat, evil and ugly slob. Little did they know an alert John decided to go down to his cellar that day…

As John descended into his cellar, he slowly took note of the shortage of cheese that was afflicting it. Of course, he went up to his father and directly asked him: “Father, where is the cheese?”
- Well, son, an evil wizard named Patrick decided to take it all to his tower, and eat it for himself!
- But… That’s mean! I mean, how are we supposed to make a living?
- Yes, but you are brave, and I have magical scissors imbued with the power of speech, which are called Jordan, that I will hand down to you this right instant.
And at that moment, John’s father handed him Jordan, the magical scissors.“Go, go, my son, and take our cheese back!” yelled the old man.

On these words, John went on a magical adventure to save Fromager’s economical situation.

Wow! Lucky you, you even got a piece of ORIGINAL ART!
Gotta love bad drawing skills, oh yes.
Credit for the drawing goes to a friend of mine and another guy, as well as me.

Sir's Random Dashes of Inspiration - Grimvale

Hey hey hey! I've got another story for you guys! This time it's a tad bit less joyful than the last one, however. Anyways, I'll let you guys read it and think what you may think about it!
No morals, just a Random Dash of Inspiration (how conceptual!)

This one's called Grimvale, and I know it is VERY cliché, but hey, if you have any ideas, let 'em loose! (Honestly, the comments board is here for something, guys and girls!)

Dark omens occurred everywhere in the world, while it was still plunged in chaos… Of course, there were in no case any exceptions, especially for Grimvale. Some say the place was haunted… Others had dwindling thoughts about demons lurking in the shadows. There were of course, those that believed that all those were superstitions… Evidently, they all disappeared in mysterious events, reappearing in horrid conditions… Ones were left alive, with their sanity shattered, hell-bent on destroying everything in their path… Others kept their sanity… but alas, their corpse could not support the pain as well. Those ones came back with bodies covered in black scars oozing with puss, a rank odour emanating from their split-open stomachs. These ones were believed to be the sufferers of the worst kind of pain… Well, it seems like everyone was wrong. There was a third state in which the dark beasts and humanoids that snapped from the void decided to bring some people back in… These people came back without their sanity, their body shattered in pieces and sewn back along with other body parts… The result being an atrocity beyond any mortal’s comprehension… An abomination so abhorring, just staring at it made people spill their guts out… These ones were the real wreakers of havoc among the human populace, as they brought, alongside their weapons, deadly diseases. Humankind was thought of as lost in the rotting village of Grimvale… Until finally, light was shed on the bloody massacre. A holy gathering, known only as the “Judgement from Heaven”, found out about Grimvale. Using all the holy rituals and spells contained in their ancient books and scrolls, they could eventually manage to push the demoniac forces back into the seething abyss that spawned them. Since then, people understood that, even though dark omens sway over our worlds, divine protection is always present.

And another picture... Well actually this one was a bit more complicated than that, and no, it's not a little cutout print taken from the intarwebs, sorry to disappoint you :)
However, I will have to ask you guys your opinions and if you have any ideas for it! I was thinking maybe turning the white to silver (never mind the part that's outside of the paler blue outline, it's because of crappy scan cropping) or something like that. PLEASE! If you have ideas or comments, post them! I appreciate criticism more than you might think!